How Gay Are We: Dad Competes in GG9 to Support Teen Daughter's Coming Out

What is it like having a child come out? Mark Swaim-Fox, the director of the Cleveland chapter of Facing History and Ourselves, a nonprofit that teaches students about social justice issues, stood by his 15-year-old daughter's side as she came out as a lesbian last year. This week, Swaim-Fox joined two of his best friends and his son to compete in the Gay Games in support of his daughter.

    I think my daughter is one of the most remarkable people I know. I would do anything in the world for her. She knew she was gay in the seventh grade, but she came out to us toward the end of her eighth-grade year. We were sitting down together and she said, ‘I’m gay, but I’ve told you already.’ She was dropping these hints that she was noticing girls, and we weren’t picking up on it.

    I cried, not because she was gay, but because I missed it; because this is so important and it’s part of her identity, and because we love her and we’re so close. It was a really tender, sensitive moment. My first instinct was a parental one. I said, ‘I don’t want you to be hurt. I know there’s still homophobia out there.’ Not wanting my daughter to be a target is really serious for me, and my wife and I both struggle with those things. My next instinct was, ‘Oh my gosh, what can I do to support you?’

    We’re really being conscious about our language and really asking about her love interests like we would with our son. Nothing is really different. We’re just making sure on a day-to-day basis she knows that we love her.

     I feel I’m not a father of a lesbian; I’m a father of my daughter. I think she’s got such grace and maturity, and we’ll support her when she’s in trouble and we’ll share her joy when she’s excited — no matter what.

     The PFLAG meetings we went to helped a lot. There is something communal about other parents sharing stories together that help. It’s not a gay-straight sexuality thing. It’s just about paying attention to our children and what they need and making sure they can be whoever they are. — as told to James Bigley II

Pride in the Moment: Day Five

Pride is not holding back. Local photographer Shane Wynn snapped this vibrant shot at the daylong Flair Fest, held at Akron's Lock 3 Thursday, that encouraged crowd members to accentuate their unique qualities while they took in music from the Indigo Girls and local and regional acts. Wynn and three other photographers continue to capture the games for Summit Artspace's online exhibit Pride in the Moment where new images can be seen daily at prideinthemomentgg9cle.com, prideinthemomentgg9cle.org, akronareaarts.org and gg9cle.com. Check back tomorrow for another picture from the exhibit.

Flair Fest, Lock 3, Aug. 14
Photo Credit: Shane Wynn

Pride in the Moment: Day Three

Pride is the ability to authentically share your identity with others. The Gay Games is certainly bringing that out in athletes such as this martial arts competitor photographed by David Alan Foster at the John S. Knight Center Tuesday. See more pictures snapped by Foster and three other area photographers as part of Summit Artspace's Pride in the Moment online exhibit documenting the international sporting event at prideinthemomentgg9cle.com, prideinthemomentgg9cle.org, akronareaarts.org and gg9cle.com. Visit our blog daily this week for an exclusive photo from the exhibit. 

Martial Arts, John S. Knight Center, Aug. 12
Photo Credit: David Alan Foster

How Gay Are We: Boy George Rocks the White Party

  The crowd waved glow sticks, spun flags and threw up inflatable beach balls as dancers grooved with glow-in-the-dark Hula-Hoops to the high-energy beats of internationally known disc jockey, Marc Vedo, and Cleveland-based Evan Evolution at the Gay Games White Party. Despite a torrential downpour, hundreds dressed in head-to-toe white filled Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica Monday night. Host Veranda L'Ni,  who also hosts Twist Social Club's Drag Bingo, announced $1 for every White Party ticket would be donated to a new LGBT fund at the Cleveland Foundation in memory of John Katsaros, longtime gay activist and former owner of Twist who died in February.

 Boy George, the former Culture Club frontman who just released his first full-length album in more than 18 years, took control of the LED-lit DJ booth, mixing cult classic's such as the Eurythmic's "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." Partygoers included Mary Zaller, director of development for the Gay Games, Jennifer Downey, owner of Ambiance, and Gay Games executive director, Tom Nobbe. "I was talking to some ladies who are here from the United Kingdom and they said, 'I hope it's alright to say but I'm thinking that Cleveland is the San Francisco of the Midwest,"said Nobbe earlier in the evening. "We've been telling our region for the last two years that the Gay Games are coming, and they are stepping up and welcoming everybody and that is what this is all about."

Photo Credit: Maria Varonis

Scott Christensen, Mark Boedtker, Veranda L'Ni, Eric Kruzyk and Paul Demming
Photo Credit: Maria Varonis

The Rock N' Roll City Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
 Photo Credit: Maria Varonis

Mary Prevel and Mary Zaller
 Photo Credit: Maria Varonis

DJ Marc Vedo spins.
Photo Credit: Maria Varonis

Boy George masters the DJ booth.

How Gay Are We: GG9 Opening Ceremony Excites, Offers Surprises

Participants from Ohio enter the Quicken Loans Arena for the Gay Games 9 Opening Ceremony.

The Gay Games 9 Opening Ceremony was nothing short of astounding as participants from more than 50 countries and 48 states were welcomed Saturday night at the Quicken Loans Arena. The procession of participants was led by San Francisco, host of the first Gay Games in 1982, and countries that sent one representative received the loudest applause, among them Bulgaria, Chile, Iceland and Liberia. But the level of noise was incomparable when the Russian Federation arrived and they were greeted with hugs from Gay Games staff and volunteers and received a standing ovation from thousands of spectators. Akron joined the celebration with three drag stars as they performed Tina Turner's “Proud Mary” while dancers used giant tires as props in homage to the city's reputation for being the Rubber Capital of the World. The ceremony featured appearances by Olympic gold medalist Greg Louganis and performances by Lance Bass and Bella Blue, Andrea McArdle, the Pointer Sisters and a breathtaking number by Glee star Alex Newell singing “I Know Where I've Been.” Plus, there were plenty of surprises, including a personal message from President Barack Obama and an address from Sen. Sherrod Brown and his wife Connie Schultz. “Welcome to the state of Ohio where we are moving ever closer, with one court ruling at a time, to marriage equality,” Schultz said. “In Northeast Ohio, we celebrate love in all its forms. We celebrate families in every configuration.” Michelle Tomallo, board president of Plexus, was among six local LGBT activists tasked with passing on the torch to New Zealand's Olympic speed skater, Blake Skjellerup. Check out our photos below, and stay tuned as we continue with daily coverage of the games.

Mexico's soccer team Didesex arrives at the opening ceremony. Photo Credit: Christopher Hawks

Photo Credit: Christopher Hawks

Lance Bass and Bella Blue perform their single, “Walking On Air.”

Dancers clad as superheroes perform to Bonnie Tyler's “I Need a Hero.”

Alex Newell and Andrea McArdle kick up the sass and perform Broadway hit “Take Me or Leave Me” from Rent.

Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson and Akron Mayor Don Plusquellic welcome Gay Games participants.

The Pointer Sisters kick off their set list with “I'm So Excited.”

Gay Games participants, city officials and Federation of Gay Games members celebrate the closing of the opening ceremony as the Pointer Sisters perform.

How Gay Are We: Night Before 9: Out For Art

Hundreds of Gay Games participants and art fanatics showed up in their best-dressed to the Cleveland Museum of Art last night for a fabulous pre-Gay Games celebration Friday night. Against a backdrop of rainbow-colored lights, Escort, a 15-piece electronic disco orchestra, performed with all of its members for the third time in eight years outside of New York City, bringing down the house while guests danced and kicked back in a nearby club-inspired lounge area in the recently renovated atrium. A few familiar faces from Cleveland Magazine's "Out Loud" cover package were in attendance, including Jacob Nash and his wife Erin and George Vassos and his husband, Henry Hawley. Also in attendance was Phyllis Harris, executive director of the LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland — and she had a lot to celebrate. Just two days ago, the center received a $1.8 million dollar donation from an anonymous source and a $500,000 matching grant from the Milton and Tamar Maltz Family Foundation, allowing possible relocation and expansion of its facilities and programs. There's much more to celebrate now that the Gay Games are here in Cleveland, and the Night Before 9 was the perfect event to kick off a prideful week.

Jacob and Erin Nash

Phelan Spence, Mindy Roth and Brittany Lynne

George Vassos